


cosmic kath's

by waveydnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Meet-Cute, Psychic Abilities, possibly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 22:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: dan's bedroom definitely isn't haunted. he might be visiting a psychic just in case, though





	cosmic kath's

Dan doesn’t believe in ghosts. He doesn’t. He’s got more sense than that. 

He doesn’t believe that the creaking he hears above his head at night is the footsteps of some long dead person or a demon from hell coming to drag his soul down to the fiery depths. He’s absolutely resolute in the knowledge that anything preternatural can be explained scientifically. 

Sometimes his door will creak open in the middle of the night. He’s not yet been able to figure out why that happens. He always makes sure it’s shut properly, but always in the darkness there is the sound of the handle jiggling and the hinges squeaking. 

Maybe it’s just… old. It’s an old building and an old door. That must be it.

He’s sure there’s a perfectly good reason it’s always a solid five degrees cooler in his bedroom than anywhere else in the flat.

Even after he bought a space heater to keep his feet warm at night.

He knows his house isn’t haunted, because he knows that’s not actually a thing that can happen. 

But that doesn’t stop him from being scared shitless all day every day. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t lie awake at night in a cold sweat with his duvet pulled up over his head, his long legs curled up against his body.

He’s never been great at sleeping, but this is ridiculous. 

People start to notice. Co-workers ask him if he’s feeling poorly. Friends tell him he looks like shit. His brother tells him he eats too much dairy and it’s bad for his spiritual flow. And also his gut. 

His mother tells him he needs to talk to a professional.

“I already have a therapist, mum,” Dan says tersely. “I’m not mad.”

“No, no, not that. I mean a _professional_.”

Dan stares at her blankly. 

“You know, someone with the gift.”

He has to physically brace himself to stop his eyes rolling all the way back into his goddamn brain. He’s never been more certain he’d secretly been adopted. “I think maybe I need to just find a new place to live.”

She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. “Whatever it is will follow you. You need to get to the root cause of the disturbance.”

“So what do I need, mum? A bloody exorcist?”

“No, you need a medium.”

“Like a psychic?”

She crosses her arms. “Must you always be so skeptical?”

“Well… yeah. I think I must.”

“Energy is real, Daniel. Sometimes it’s dark. Sometimes people can sense things that can’t be explained with cold hard science.”

Dan sighs. “Well I don’t think that’s true, mum.”

“Then how do you explain what’s happening in your house? How do you explain the way my bear looks like he’s seen a ghost?”

“Mum,” Dan says, sheepish.

“I’m sorry but you do.”

“It’s not a ghost,” he says, carefully avoiding giving an actual answer to her question.

“I’m not saying it is. I’m not even saying it’s anything tangible like that. I’m saying it’s energy. Could be the flat’s, but it could also be yours.”

“My energy?” he asks.

She nods. 

“You think I have bad energy.”

“I don’t know,” she says, rubbing his arm. “I’m not a psychic.”

“Too bad,” he says, hoping that’ll be the end of it.

She smiles. “I know of one though, a really good one. Her shop’s not a five minute walk from your building.”

-

He’s got the address pulled up on google maps as he walks down the pavement, reluctantly keeping an eye out for a shop he hopes he can manage not to find. His mother is a persistent woman.

(He’s going to blame it entirely on her if anyone asks. Another week of sleepless nights and heart palpitations have him desperate enough to try anything.)

He’s not sure if he’s relieved of disappointed when he finally spots it. To be honest he almost can’t believe it’s there. He’s walked down this street a thousand and one times and never once noticed it, but there it is in all its tacky new age glory, sandwiched between a Costa and some hipster-y clothing boutique: Cosmic Kath’s.

He pockets his phone and pulls open the door to the sound of jingling bells and the smell of something strong and smoky.

There’s a youngish looking bloke sat at a desk in the corner of the room. He looks normal, if not a little unnaturally pale. His hair is way too black for his ivory complexion and his thick rimmed glasses are slid near down to the end of his nose, but Dan thinks he looks about as out of place as Dan feels.

The guy is staring down at his phone and doesn’t look up when Dan walks over. There’s a bell on the desk that says ‘ring for service,’ so Dan does, just to be a dick. 

The guy jumps, grabbing his chest and looking at Dan in terror.

“Sorry,” Dan mutters, trying not to laugh.

“Bloody hell,” the guy breathes, pushing his glasses up and clapping his hand over his heart again. 

“Aren’t you s’posed to be psychic?” Dan asks.

“Not me, my mum. I just work here.”

“You’re son of Cosmic Kath?”

“I am indeed.”

“That’s cool,” Dan says. 

“So how can I help you today…?”

“Dan.”

“Dan.” The guy smiles. “How can I help you today Dan?”

“Well…” Dan pauses the same way son of Kath had a moment ago.

“Phil,” the guys says. Phil says.

“Well Phil, my mum says I have bad energy.”

“Does she now?” Phil asks, leaning back in his wheely office chair, putting his hands together in front of his mouth like he’s praying. 

Or like he’s a shrink. “Tell me about that.”

“I may have implied to her that my bedroom is haunted.”

“Mhm,” Phil hums.

“I don’t think it actually is, it just…” He trails off, suddenly noticing when Phil throws one long leg over the other, perches his ankle on the other knee that this guy is kind of fit and maybe Dan shouldn’t make a fool of himself so casually. 

“It’s not but like, it kinda low key is, right?” Phil asks. 

Dan bites his lip. Why did he come here? Why didn’t he plan out what he was going to say?

“It’s ok,” Phil reassures. “I’ve heard it all, and my mum’s heard even more. We’re not here to judge.” His accent is a touch northern.

“I don’t know what it is,” Dan says again. “But whatever it is it’s keeping me awake at night and I’m bloody tired.”

“And yet you still look like _that_ ,” Phil murmurs quietly.

Dan’s pulse kicks up a bit. “What?”

“What?” Phil repeats. Dan can tell he’s trying hard to keep a straight face. He hopes he heard right. He hopes this kind of bookishly hot guy is actually flirting with him from across a desk that’s draped in beads. 

A few lit sticks of incense are burning beside the service bell and the scent is so strong it burns a little in Dan’s nostrils. “Does this stuff ward off bad mojo or something?” Dan asks.

“Mm, honestly all it really does is give me a headache,” Phil replies. “Give me a vanilla scented candle any day.”

Dan smiles. That’s just a cute thing to say. “I think I’d go for something in between.”

“You’d like a really manly scented candle like ‘rustic leather’ or something,” Phil says.

“Can’t say I’ve ever heard of that one.”

“Ok, then… beachwood. I reckon you’d like beachwood.”

“Thought you weren’t psychic,” Dan says, genuinely a little disconcerted. Beechwood is his favourite candle. He’s got a half burned one on the edge of his bathtub right this very second. 

“Maybe a little.” Phil winks. Well, he blink-winks anyway.

“Can you exorcise my demons, Phil?”

“I thought it was just a bit of wonky energy going on.”

Dan shrugs. “Guess that’s why I’m here. I need your mum’s gifts.”

“I’ll put your name on the list,” Phil says. “Should be able to fit you in sometime next month.”

Dan’s face falls. “Oh.”

Phil laughs, and Dan sees a flash of tongue from between his teeth. “I’m taking the piss. I think she’s painting her nails back there right now. Lemme go tell her to get ready for you, yeah?”

“Why do I feel nervous?” Dan asks. “Why do I feel like she’s about to like, look right inside my soul?”

Phil stands up and leans over his desk. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Dan nods. Phil leans in closer and Dan finds himself leaning too. “You have nothing to worry about. It looks well nice in there to me.”

His smile is blinding. The stretch in Dan’s cheeks and the crinkle of his eyes tell him he gives one back to match.

-

Dan doesn’t leave Cosmic Kath’s with a ton of insight into why his bedroom insists on playing up his most irrational fears. What he does leave with is the reassurance that he’s a young man with an old soul who has seen pain and darkness but is strong enough to walk the road to better days as long as he embraces the blessings the universe has to offer. 

A tad dramatic, but he’d expect no less from someone as wise and all-knowing as Cosmic Kath. And while it may not have had the intended effect, her prophesying had been just what he needed to stop being an idiot.

He intends to follow Kath’s advice. He intends to embrace the universe’s blessing of ringing up his landlord and making him deal with the broken door and the shoddy heating and the creaky floors. Dan is strong enough to walk the road of home improvement to the better days of a flat that’s not falling apart.

But that’s not even the best part, because there’s one more thing he’s taking home from his visit with Cosmic Kath, and that is her very cute son’s phone number.


End file.
